Future + Brunch + Booz ultd.

Location: Monica Psyhic + Derek's Manayunk
Date: 03/22/09
Attendees: Bethany, Brent, Natasha & Yasmine
Written by: Yasmine

I know there have been many “special” editions of Dish+Bitch thus far; but I must say that this one was by far the most…mystical. When I was told that our Sunday brunch was going to be preceded by a visit to Philadelphia’s famous Psychic Monica in Manayunk, I must say I was intrigued. What got me even more excited to go was the promise of unlimited Bloody Marys at Derek’s.

Being the skeptic that I am, I was trying take this whole “psychic” experience as a joke. When we walked in, we were split into 2 groups, I am taking the freedom to give those two groups distinctive names. Group 1, aka “truth ain’t pretty so suck it up bitches” and Group 2 aka “life is beautiful, you are a free creature, fly fly fly away my child”.
Group1: Yasmine and Bethany had a reading by Monica. Group 2, Natasha and Brent had a reading by Monica’s daughter.

As I sat down, the whole room was silent. Monica stared at me with her big eyes and flat out told me “look, I’m going to tell you things you don’t want to hear, it is the truth that you must face, I sense that you have a shield covering your heart, you have major trust issues, you are your worst enemy…” it didn’t really get any better for the remainder of the reading. I was puzzled and left with her telling me that I needed spiritual healing with crystals, serious shizz… All I’m saying is, this reading needed to be washed down with unlimited Bloody Marys.

We did learn something very important however; it turns out that Natasha and Brent go way back, like 3 generations back. We are not sure what kind of relationships they had, the possibilities are endless, and may make some people uncomfortable.
Also another important thing, apparently Natasha will be having a love baby, or a dog. We are not sure, but Brent, Bethany and I couldn’t help but plan out Natasha’s affair which may result in her being pregnant or having a dog. I think she prefers a dog.

After an insight into to our bright/not so bright but there’s hope/your are doomed future, we needed food and beverages. Not having been to Manayunk before, and thinking that we were heading into the country, I must say, I was satisfied. The ambiance at Derek was pleasant. Mimosas and Bloody Marys were flying on trays across the room. I do not recall how many Mimosas Brent had which may be because my Bloody Marys hit me hard that I lost my ability to count OR simply because he had so many that I lost count.

Needless to say, our main topic of conversation centered about the future, which can either be really good or just depressing. All in all, apart from Natasha’s love baby/ puppy situation, we all felt like there was something interesting awaiting us out there.

Let’s talk food. Brent and I had smoked salmon with the works. The bread was very good, I believe it was brioche. Natasha had strawberry stuffed French toast, which looked delicious. Bethany couldn’t find anything that had chicken in it on the menu so she ventured for the off the menu daily special - Chicken Breast Omelet with lots of colorful veggies. We were happy with our food.

To many brunch adventures to come.

Jawn, Jawn, Jawn.

Location: Loie
128 S. 19th Street


Attendees:
Bethany, Rob, Ryan, Brent, & Partially Chris

Special Guest:

Name: Shenese
Occupation: Jawn Collector (Jaun Collector)
Steak?: VERY Well Done

Before I start... So, this is my first official "post", but unlike Ryan, I have been contributing behind the scenes. Now I'll start.

This brunch is all about Shenese (which is why Chris showed up). Chris and I were the first to arrive followed by Shenese and Brent was late. While we waited for Bethany and Ryan to arrive via SEPTA, Brent explained to us his dream about afros. He didn't elaborate. Chris "responded" by telling us that the hottest waitress was staring at him*. In walk Bethany and Ryan, unfashionably late**.

Onto the never-ending-bloody-marys-and-mimosas (they gradually get weaker).


And here comes the food. We started off with either the oatmeal, soup, or salad.



I had a mimosa, so I forget who had what.***

Before the questions started, Shenese explained to us about her wild-n-crazy weekend. It involved her Birthday, Drinking, Cars, Blackouts, Accidents, Cops and a "Favor".

Some Questions (from Chris the Perv):

Question 1: How many jawns have you juggled at once?
Answer: Shenese stated for the record that she has juggled no more than eight jawns at a time. She also stated that if by juggling Chris meant banging than, it was always one-on-one and no more than 4 per month****.

Question 2: What size do you prefer?
Answer: Shenese then states "C'mon Chris you're getting a little creepy. Especially with that mustache.*****" We all agreed, but she answered anyway. If you really wanna know, you must be a little creepy as well. Email us for the answer!

The food has arrived. Chris and I ordered the Cheval Burger.


Everyone else ordered these... I forget who got what***.




Questions, Part Deuce:

Question 3: Fuck Chuck Marry?
Answer:
Fuck Fredrick Douglas


Chuck Rerun


Marry Malcom X


Question 4: What would be your drug of choice, if you could get your hands on it?
Answer: Shenese stated that it would be MDMA, and that she'd be an avid MDMA user for sure.

Question 5: Who would you murder if you had the chance, alive or dead?
Answer: Shenese answered "Hitler! No, the first man who brought slaves from Africa... and I'd give him AIDs, I'd give him AIDs til he knew what was what."

Chris leaves at this point.

Question 6: If you could have one superpower what would it be and why?
Answer: Shenese says "I would want to fly so I could swoop down and steal from farms if I get hungry."***

Question 7: What is your best asset?
Answer: Shenese answers "I'd say my personality, but my jawns say my jawns."

Ryan slowly pulls up his pant leg to reveal his red socks. We continue.


Question 8: Fuck Chuck Marry
Answer:
Fuck Wiley Cyote


Chuck Porky Pig


Marry Richie Rich


There were more questions, but they were about lip gloss and Shenese's fear of asians.

Quick Food Recap:
Burger was awesome.
Potatoes not as good as Beaumont, but awesome.
Omelette was a bit rubbery and slimy.
The syrup on the oatmeal was great.

Highlight:
Drinks

Drink Count:
Bethany - Mimosa, 7.
Brent - Mimosa, 8.
Shenese - Mimosa, 4.
Chris - Mimosa, 3. Bloody Mary, 2.
Ryan - Mimosa, 5. Bloody Mary, 2.
Me - Mimosa, 1 1/2.


Mimosas Total: 28


*Pfft. In his dreams.
**Hahahaha!
***Note drink count.
****Should I have edited that?
*****Chris doesn't have a mustache.

Written By: Rob
Next Week: Maggie via National Mechanics