February 23, 2009

I’m all about shrinkage.

Location: Tinto, 114 S. 20th St.
Attendees: Rob, Ryan, Bethany, Natasha, and Brent.
Special Guest: Yasmine Hossam Hamdy
Occupation: Transient Alien

Upon entering Tinto, Brent and I were greeted by a high school friend of mine, who wound up being our server. He also works at Morimoto’s and is a pretty good waiter. Yasmine and Natasha both show up nearly 15 minutes late and as usual Bethany and Ryan come walking in more than tardy. Natasha surprises us all when she announces that she is hung over from the night before (very unlike a grandmother). Bethany doesn’t surprise us in the least when she announces that she is still drunk from the night before.

Question Time.

Fuck, Chuck or Marry. Emerill Lagasse, the Frugal Gourmet, and Andrew Zimmern

Fuck Emeril Lagasse.

Chuck the Frugal Gourmet

Marry Andrew Zimmern

Question 1:
If you had a choice between getting a teardrop tattoo or two full sleeves of tribal, which would you choose and why?
Answer: Full sleeves of tribal. She says it’s bad-ass… Although I think the teardrop is way more bad-ass.

Question 2:
If you had a choice between having two haircuts for the rest of your life, one being a bowl cut and the other being a crewcut with a 6” rat tail, which would you choose and why?
Answer: Crewcut with a 6”rat tail, due to the fact that the bowl cut would not be possible with her curly hair.

Question 3:
Part 1: If you had a one superpower, which would it be and why?
Answer: Time-Travel

Brent chokes on asparagus oil.

Part 2: Time-Travel, What would the first era/period that you would travel to be?
Answer: Cleopatra times.

Question 4:
What would your dream “bad-ass” profession be?
Answer: “Fin Fighter”. She would hunt down all the people who kill sharks and whales for their fins to make a delicious soup. Cut their nets and sink their boats. (picture of shark fin soup)

Question 5:
How would you kill someone?
Answer: Sniper rifle, no blood on her hands in the physical sense.

Question 6:
Who would you murder if you had the chance, alive or dead?
Answer: Child molesters and rapists. All of them with her bare hands.

Which leads us to the next question…

Question 7:
Would you rather be labeled a child molester or have both your feet amputated?
Answer: Child molester (weird choice). She would then move to a place where they didn’t understand English, so that when she introduced herself as a child molester they would not understand her.

Question 8:
What is your most hated catch-phrase or word and why?
Answer: “Figure it out.” It started in school. She says “Why would I ask you the question if I already knew the answer. Doi!”

Yasmine is buzzed after 1/3 of her first Pamplona.

Question 9:
If you could be any animal or insect, what would you be?
Answer: I would be an eagle with dolphin fins (she better not cut them off a live dolphin, that would hypocrytical), a scorpion tail, and horse legs. She doesn’t want anything from a turtle. She hates them.

Question 10:
If you could invite 3 people dead or alive to this brunch who would it be?

1. Andy Warhol, so she can say “WTF!”

2. Bob Marley

3. Andrew Zimmern

Fuck, Chuck or Marry. Danny DeVito, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and John C. Reilly

Fuck Danny DeVito.

Chuck John C. Reilly

Marry Phillip Seymour Hoffman


Rob: Cured Salmon Plate, Huevos Benedictos, Applewood Smoked Bacon & Gateaux Basque

Brent: Cured Salmon Plate, Padre E Hijo, Grilled Asparagus & Gateaux Basque

Ryan: Cured Salmon Plate, Padre E Hijo, Chorizo & Brulee of Grapefruit

Bethany: Homemade Granola, Steak & Eggs (very well done), Applewood Smoked Bacon & Gateaux Basque

Natasha: Homemade Granola, Steak & Eggs, Applewood Smoked Bacon & Gateaux Basque

Yasmine: Cured Salmon Plate, Steak & Eggs, Piperade & Brulee of Grapefruit


Brent: Biscay 2x

Ryan: Pamploma 2x

Bethany: Biscay

Yasmine: Pamplona 2x

Rob: Coke 3x

Pictures of Food & Drinks:

February 13, 2009

I Want Something That Tastes Delicious

♥ Special Edition: Valentine's Day 2009 ♥

7th & Chestnut

Rob and Brent

Bethany & Ryan

Special Guest(s):

Newlyweds Mike & Kelly
Occupation: Lovers
Special Talents: 33% Compatibility & showing up at just the right moment.

We decided to take our brunch guests to Jones since the atmosphere was so retro-kitsch and played into our special game so well. We decided to play The Newlywed Game, Bob Eubanks style (minus his jokes about AIDS).

Upon waiting nearly half an hour to be seated, Kelly had sent me a text saying they would be running a little late because she was at home watching Rock of Love 2. During our wait, Rob started talking about his new adventure in Weird New Jersey and setting fires to gas stations.


Starting top left going clockwise:
1. Strawberry Basil Caipirinha
(for something basil related in drink form, it was pretty good. like almost too good. like recalled peanut products good.
2. 1 fish 2 fish
(It took Kelly 20 minutes to order, telling the waiter "I want something that taste delicious" then later stated "Damn I should have asked what drink has the most alcohol." She then preceded to chip a tooth on the harden swedish fish.
3. Jones Decadent Hot Chocolate
(It had Godiva white and dark liquor topped with whipped cream and chocolate shavings, so it had to be good. But Rob later stated he should have gotten something cold)
4. Monkey Bread
5. Huevos Rancheros
6. Mushroom & Cheddar Omelette
7. Biscuit & Egg Sandwich
8. Potato Pancakes
9. Tomato Soup

Overall the food was good and quick. Like unusually quick. Not quick like Stewie Griffins 8 second co-worker sex. But pretty darn close.

So on to the Newlywed Game:

Question 1
When your spouse leaves the house, what time is it? Party time? Time to clean? Nap time?

I would say: Nap Time
He would say: Party Time

I would say: Party Time
She would say: Clean Up Time

Kelly-1 / Mike-0

Question 2
What one item of clothing does your spouse wear that you just can't stand?

He would say: Tall boots over jeans
For him: pair of old tapered jeans

She would say: my old boxers
For her: her "sunday panties"

Kelly-0 / Mike-0

Question 3
When your spouse wakes up in the morning she/he is likely find my _______ on her/his ______.

I would say: his "thing" on my ass
He would say: my knee in his face

I would say: knees in my back
She would say: hand on her butt

Kelly-.5 / Mike-.5
(since it was almost a match we gave them a half point each)

Question 4
Complete the following sentence: "A perfect spouse is one who _________"

I would say: cooks and cleans and loves and listen (good husband)
He would say: gives bj's daily

I would say: "give it up"
She would say: listen to my bitching.

Kelly-1 / Mike-1
(it was pretty close so we gave the both a point)

Question 5
What candy bar would your spouse choose to describe your style of making love?

I would say: peppermint patty
He would say: nutrageous

I would say: pop rocks
She would say: twix

(not sure what any of those answers meant)

Kelly-0 / Mike-0.

Final Score
Mike 1.5

February 6, 2009

It's Human Nature

Despite my greatest efforts on getting this blog entry up, I'm late...surprise.
This post was originally supposed to go up on Monday Feb. 2 to coincide with Groundhog's Day.

For a lack of better words, I fucked up.
Like a teeanger's period...better late than never I suppose.

Location: Marathon Grill 15th and Walnut
Attendees: Rob, Ryan, Bethany, Brent

Special Guest: Groundhog

Name: Groundhog
Occupation: Shadow Boxer
Favorite Spice: Old Spice

Ryan and Bethany shows up late. Like not Brian McMicken late, but pretty close.

We had food...but you know...it's Marathon...it's not that great.
Rob ordered something so vile that I don't remember what it was. Actually he seemed to enjoy it since it was gone in less than 4 minutes.

Ryan order some sort of steak thing with like eggs or cheese. Maybe a tortilla, maybe toast. I don't remember.

Bethany ordered a mix of things that resembled a breakfast sandwich. But your guess is as good as mine.

I order the lox and bagels. It was like caper hell.

The Groundhog was on a diet. So he didn't eat.

On to the interview or lack their of.

Question 1:
Fuck, Chuck or Marry:

1. Rocky (from Rocky and Bullwinkle)
2. Sandy Squirrel
3. Alvin, Simon, Theodore


Apparently sex questions makes our Groundhog centaur shy.

Question 2:
What is the last thing you've downloaded illegally?


Beaver porn.

Question 3:
y = log x
If y = 10, then what is x?


Question 4:
Do you like our blog?


The Groundhog thinks we're number 1

February 3, 2009


You're not a day too soon.

Latest entry coming soon.

Here is a sneak peak.