If protection isn't 100% effective, why bother?

Location: Cafe Lift
428 N 13th St


Attendees:
Bethany, Rob, Ryan & Brent

Special Guest:

Name: Natasha
Occupation: Super Star
Drink of Choice: Any non-Pepsi product
Fork, Knife or Spoon: Bare hands

I'll admit, I haven't been a great contributor to Dish + Bitch, mostly because I haven't actually contributed yet. In fact, according to Brent, I'm officially on double triple probation. But, contrary to what some might think, this is not about me (or my iPhone). This is about brunch. And even though our featured guest, Natasha, tried to hijack the interview within the first 5 minutes, I think we all feel that this week's brunch adventure mostly didn't suck.

Our destination was Cafe Lift, located in a part of Philadelphia with just enough boarded up windows and abandoned buildings to make me feel like I could be stabbed at any moment.

Brunch was kicked off with complimentary bread pudding for the table. It was delicious and free and awesome and made me feel like I was cheating the system by starting with dessert first.



After being handed menus, we did what we always do and went right for the drink list. But there was a problem, there was no drink list. Cafe Lift does serve alcohol. As a result none of us have spoken to Natasha since. She is personally responsible for Dish + Bitch's first dry brunch.

The lack of booze did, however, allow us to focus more on the food. And the food was pretty great. We ordered stuff that looked like this:


Bethany and Natasha split a few items including this banana french toast with some kind of cannoli cream. It was awesome.


Bethany also ordered a pretty classic eggs & sausage breakfast but it ended up being mostly decoration for the table.


Natasha also got a breakfast burrito the size of my head. I want to wrap myself in breakfast burrito and never come out.


And I believe Brent, Rob, and myself ordered the eggs florentine with crab. It was amazing and I wish I was eating it right now.

Even though Bethany had gone half of brunch without a fork and it took me 45 minutes to get my latte, Cafe Lift served up a groin-grabbingly great brunch.


Questions

Question 1:
Fuck Chuck Marry

1: Donkey Lips
2: Cory Matthews
3: Ferguson

Answer:
Fuck Donkey Lips
Marry Cory Matthews
Kill Ferguson

Question 2:
Would you rather, The "that's fucking nasty" edition:

A: Would you rather roll around in habanero peppers, wet raw chicken, or month-old fish eggs.

Answer: Fish Eggs


And

B: Would you rather have sex with a homeless man or eat flesh?

Answer: Eat Flesh



Question 3:
If you were a superhero what kind of power would you have and why?

Natasha would be "Lube Lady" and her power would be "saving the world from dryness".

lube lady


Yeah.

But Bethany offered to revise Natasha's answer suggesting that Natasha has special "Grandma" powers and her specialty would be turning all alcohol into water.


Written by Ryan